Pregnancy is such a beautiful, miraculous gift. It’s also extremely hard, and it tends to make us go a tad bit crazy. No matter how great your boyfriend or husband is, I’m sure you’ll get under his skin at least a few times during those nine grueling months. I mean, hey, we’re only human. And when you’re growing another human inside of you, you’re bound to be a little less than pleasant on occasion.
When I was pregnant with my son, I didn’t realize how crazy and emotional I was. It wasn’t until he was already born, that I was able to look back and see that I was going through a lot. It’s not that women freak out on the waiters that mess up their orders, or that they cry burst out into tears over the smallest things (though that does happen on occasion).
More often than not, pregnant ladies are obsessed with perfection, especially when it comes to their home and the lives they’re bringing their baby into. It all makes total sense though. It’s our body’s natural way of helping us prepare for our little ones. But it can result in some pretty hilarious stories.
This article is all in good fun. You have to laugh at yourself every now and then. At the end of the day, your significant other loves you all the same.
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15 Midnight Cravings
Cravings are one of the strangest symptoms of pregnancy. And when you want a frosty and some pickles, who better to ask to go on a midnight run than your significant other? I mean, it’s not like you should have to drag your swollen body out of bed to get it right? Most decent men are more than willing to do it, but that doesn’t mean they’re exactly happy about it. They might even refuse every now and then. But after getting yelled at for daring to say no to a cranky pregnant lady, they usually get it together and decide to go every time you ask. Are they happy about it? Probably not. But driving down to the nearest drive-thru is better than hearing their angry wife cry and yell over french fries.
14 Waking Them Up In The Middle Of The Night
When you’re pregnant, you urinate frequently because the baby is pushing down on your bladder. That doesn’t stop just because it’s 3 AM. Waking up every two to four hours to pee is no fun, and our significant others think it’s just as annoying as we do. What’s worse than being woken up 3-4 times each night because the person next to you has to get up? Not to mention the fact that pregnant ladies have a harder time getting out of bed than usual. You have to swivel around, backward crab walk, grunt, groan, maybe even cry a little bit. Our boyfriends and husbands might cry too, if they have to hear you struggle to get out of bed two hours before he has to be at work again. Sorry fellas, would you rather we wet the bed?
13 Buying A Bunch Of Baby Items That Will Never Be Used
This goes along with all of our crazy nesting urges. We want to buy everything our baby could possibly need, and then some. Our husbands aren’t pregnant, and no matter how excited they are about the new baby, they’re able to think a little more clearly than we are. They know that you’ll never use 3 out of the 5 baby seats you buy, but they let you purchase them anyway, while mumbling under their breath about the cost.
I know I was guilty of this one. I mean, really guilty. I bought every single gadget, swing, swaddle, bottle, and co-sleeper I could find, on the off-chance my son might need every single item. I shudder to think about the amount of money we wasted on useless items that never saw the light of day. At least I learned my lesson, and our second baby will have what he or she needs without their entire closet packed full of crazy toys and bottles that they’ll never use.
12 Raging Hormones
No matter how hard we try to stay sane and sweet for our significant others during our pregnancy, it’s almost inevitable that we will turn into a psycho at least once. One moment we’ll be perfectly fine, and the next we’ll burst into tears over something that happened a year and a half ago. If our hormones weren’t enough to send us over the edge, there’s always our aching back and internal struggles with our appearance that will do the job. You break a few plates, you shed a few tears, and your husband wonders why he agreed to have a baby. Just kidding, but they probably will try to hide away in the bathroom or go out with friends to avoid your antics every so often. Most of us wish we could hide from ourselves and get a break too.
11 Oddly Specific Requests
Remember those midnight runs to restaurants we were talking about earlier? Yeah, they’re not always simple requests. We want chicken nuggets from one drive-thru, french fries from another, and ranch dipping sauce from another place across town. And if those needs aren’t met, oh boy. Your man knows what’s in for him if he doesn’t show back up with all of your food, not too hot (because you might cry) and not too cold (because you might cry). You might cry anyway, just because it tastes so good, but at least you can’t blame those tears on him. They want to make us happy, but good gravy. You can’t judge him if he curses during the entire car ride. He’s probably thanking his lucky stars that pregnancy is only 9 months long. Or wondering how he can come up with a time machine to fast-forward through this crazy phase.
10 Taking Long Baths
When your back hurts and a bath is the only thing that will ease the pain, you’re probably not in a hurry to get out of the tub. Your significant other, however, needs to bathe every now and then too. If you’re constantly in the tub, it’s pretty aggravating. And when you only have one bathroom, you’re not really leaving him any time to um, relieve himself. When you finally decide you’re ready to get out of the tub and face the real world, it still takes you at least 20 minutes to stand up, dry off, finish weeping and get out of the bathroom.
My husband actually went to our neighbor’s house to go to the bathroom at one point in my pregnancy, because he just couldn’t hold it any longer. And it wasn’t just number one. True story.
9 Forcing Them To Read A Billion Baby Books
Pregnant women are more likely to pour over books and articles about caring for a newborn than their SOs. It’s not that men aren’t interested in learning about their future baby, but for many of them, it just hasn’t set in yet. They can’t wrap their brains around preparing for something months in advance. They figure they’ll just sort it all out once the baby is born. Well, pregnant women are pretty demanding when it comes to getting their significant others to prepare for the newborn. We can see that it’s best to start early because parenthood is no joke.
They say that women become mothers the moment they realize they’re pregnant, and men become fathers once they see the baby for the first time. I think it’s totally true, and the proof is in the pudding. Women are obsessed with all things “mommy” once they’re pregnant, and men take a little longer to hop on board.
8 Hogging The Pillows
Anyone that has been pregnant knows that sleeping is more frequent but much more uncomfortable. Most of us have to shove pillows under our hip, behind our back, in between our legs, under our feet, you get the idea. Basically, we use every dang pillow in the house. If you only have four pillows in your bedroom, guess who gets three of them? Yup, the cranky, uncomfortable mama-to-be.
Even if your guy is nice about it, chances are he wishes he could get in on the comfy pillow action. Who doesn’t like having an extra pillow to cuddle up with? It’s okay fellas, we may hog them now, but once our babies are here, things will go back to normal. Unless, of course, you co-sleep when your baby is a little older. Then all the pillows end up on the floor.
7 Constantly Cleaning
Nesting urges are the crazy you guys. I mean, really crazy. Normal people don’t usually clean the baseboards in every room at 3 AM, but it’s not far-fetched for pregnant women. No matter the time or the circumstances, you’ll find us crouched down, cleaning every nook and cranny because our baby can’t have ANY dust bunnies in the house.
I’m not just talking about men getting aggravated because we’re vacuuming in front of the television or interrupting their game. I’m talking about them hating the fact that we’re constantly up and moving when we need to be relaxing. Can you imagine watching your pregnant wife run around the house cleaning all day when all you want to do is relax with her? Especially when she’s cleaning things that don’t seem like a problem for you.
6 Complaining When They’ve Been Out For Too Long
Don’t worry ladies, I’m guilty too. Even just going to the grocery store is a drag when you have all those extra pounds to carry around.
I gained fifty pounds while I was pregnant with my son. Partially due to my love for donuts, and partially due to my extra amniotic fluid. Needless to say, I stayed home for many a shopping trip. Whenever I did decide to go, I complained half of the time because I regretted my decision about ten minutes in.
That’s not to say you should stay in bed and never exercise or go outside just because you’re pregnant and your back hurts. But maybe just spare you hubby on a grocery run every now and then. He doesn’t want to see you in pain, and let’s be honest – he doesn’t want to hear you complain, either.
5 Being A Total Control Freak About The Furniture Placement
It’s common for pregnant women to obsess over the details of their homes. Everything must be perfect! Our hormones are all over the place, and every single piece of furniture must be exactly as we envisioned it. Once our babies are here, and we’ve settled into our new lives, we realize it doesn’t matter nearly as much as we thought it did. The crib and changing station don’t need to be perfectly arranged for maximum feng shui. They just need to be accessible and safe.
Our husbands and boyfriends can see this, but we can’t. Ahh, the joys of pregnancy. Goodbye rationality, goodbye! The feelings are so real for us at the time though. As real as real can be. But they’re simply a product of high levels of estrogen, and it won’t last forever.
4 Watching Emotional Movies With The Sole Purpose Of Crying
Okay, hopefully, I’m not alone in this. I’m pretty sure I’m not. I’m an emotional, sensitive person. When I feel like throwing a pity party or wallowing in sadness, I go all out. I don’t just cry for a moment and turn on some Brittney Spears to dance it off. I turn on the television, kick my feet up and watch a sappy movie so I can get all the tears out. That’s how I heal and move forward.
Pregnancy takes this to a different level. Ugly crying, snot, whimpering, the whole nine yards. Chances are, your significant other is not going to want to be a part of that. Why would they? It’s almost asking for a fight, because who knows when your sadness might suddenly turn into anger.
3 Going Back And Forth On Their Birth Plan
Decisions, decisions! Natural birth or epidural? Episiotomy, or take your chances with tearing? Immediate skin-to-skin, or check the baby’s vitals first? When there are so many different ways to give birth, it’s daunting trying to get your plan together. Also, this is, you know, one of the biggest moments of your life and you only get to do it (with that baby) once. There are no do-overs.
Most men just want their wives to be happy and comfortable with their birth plan. They couldn’t really care less about the details, so long as their wife and baby are healthy afterward. So when you switch your plan for the hundredth time in a week, they might start to get a little agitated. He wants to be supportive, but good Lord, he doesn’t really want to hear you explain your reasoning for switching back to the original plan again. He just wants you to make up your mind and prepare for the unexpected. Women tend to get pretty heartbroken when things don’t go their way in the delivery room because we build this beautiful, magical moment up in our heads for months, if not years.
2 Requiring Constant Reassurance
We’re big, we’re aching, we’re emotional about what the future holds, and dangit, we’re just not sure if our spouse’s love is true some days. He doesn’t even have to do anything wrong, and we’ll still find a way to get upset. “Does he really love me?” “Does he still think I’m pretty?” “Is he really ready to be a father?” Calm down mama, it’s probably all in your head.
My husband was very gracious and sweet when I was going through my insecure phase. It wasn’t even really about my body. I didn’t feel unattractive while I was pregnant. I actually felt more beautiful than I ever had before. My hubby was loving, and there was no real reason for me to ever question his love for me. Yet there I was, feeling like a lost, angsty teenager again, constantly doubting his affection. Those darn hormones.
They may be nice about it, but come on. Have you ever been with an insecure man? It gets aggravating, having to reassure them ten times a day. He just wants you to trust him, and you should.
1 Complaining About Weight And Appearance
He doesn’t want to hear it again. He’ll be nice, and he’ll try to make you feel better. But there’s nothing more annoying than constantly reassuring a beautiful goddess that she’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of and more. Unless your husband has the mentality of a twelve-year-old boy who doesn’t have a grip on what real women look like, he won’t think anything negative about your changing body. Some men think that their wives are more beautiful than ever when they’re with child. You’re glowing, your hair is thick and luxurious, and you’re giving him the greatest gift he could ever get. Stop worrying, and start trusting his word. He doesn’t care about your stretch marks or your changing breasts. Only you do!
The worst insult is complaining about your weight. You’re carrying a baby. Inside of your body. For nine months. You’re going to gain weight, there’s just no way to avoid it. Trust your husband ladies, and cut him a little slack if he forgets to kiss you goodbye. I can assure you, it’s not because he thinks you “look fat”.